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PLAYING: Six Easy Ways To Deal With Parents Who Judge

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Six Easy Ways To Deal With Parents Who Judge

Do you feel like you're a victim of mom shaming or being judged as a mother? It's hard to be a young mom, even more so if you feel targeted by other parents' criticism. Here's how to get by with parents, family members and friends who judge you, while making sure you show more compassion and not judge other mothers. 

3 mins to read Jan 13, 2021

1. Did you ask them for their opinion? 

If you haven't, then you can politely silence them. You can discourage unwanted advice about babies by explaining what you are doing for your newborn and insisting that you simply want to be supported rather than receive opinions. Here you can find tips on how to deal with unwanted breastfeeding issues. 

2. Don't ask anyone about babies 

However, if you have asked for advice and do not like the answer, you cannot blame your interlocutor for answering. Think carefully about the people you ask about babies. For example, if you need breastfeeding advice, your close friend who breastfed would be a better option than your sister who opted for the bottle. 

3. Trust your mother's intuition 

Follow your instincts and ask your doctor for advice if you have any doubts. This can be especially helpful if you feel that the advice of a family member is outdated or outdated. Use your doctor's recommendations to stop unwanted opinion. Say, "Well, actually, I checked with my doctor and he advised me not to do that." 

4. Do you interpret their advice on babies the wrong way? 

This is quite possible if you communicate via SMS, online forums or social media messaging. In the absence of body language, inflection and intonation, messages can easily be misunderstood —you could give meaning to an opinion when it indicated something else. If you are unsure, ask the person for clarification. If in doubt, put the conversation aside and confirm your impressions with a face-to-face discussion.  

5. Is mom shaming widespread? 

Sometimes it's not a problem of understanding - mom shaming is widespread online and it can be very difficult to live with when you're a victim. Whether the behind her keyboard feels bad about her own parenting decisions, whether she's jealousy, angry or frustrated, that kind of talk is mean and useless. If you are a victim of mom shaming on the Internet, don't answer. Delete your message to prevent anyone from joining the conversation and try to stop reading the comments. Even if it's difficult, put these comments in perspective. They're the ones who have a problem, not you. 

6. Do you judge the other parents? 

Finally, take a step back and ask yourself if you are making judgments. If so, now is the time to stop judging other mothers or fathers. We all try to do our best and we all take care of our babies in a slightly different way. It is much healthier to support other parents, whether they are family members, friends or new members of your mother group.  

 

You can also read more about parenting Guilt 

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